I had a dose of this very early on in my life. My bestest friend, my comadre, my sister, suddenly was a wife and a mother shortly after high school. It was hard coming to the realization that I was no longer a priority in her life, as selfish as it sounds. Instead of having a girls day out at the beach, it was now a girls day out plus her husband. While I was out bar hopping and drinking till I felt sick, she was planning birthday parties, being a devoted wife, and working a full time job. And sure, till this day I can always go back home and we’ll pick up exactly where we left off without feeling awkward or lost, but I’d be lying if I said our relationship had not changed.
Even though I would never dream of replacing one friend with another, it was something that I sort of had to do in order to be able to still enjoy and experience an environment outside of the “family” label. Consequently, this other friend is the person who I was always around at that time. More recently, the close friends I’ve made while studying abroad also became parents. Once again I’m going through the phase where I’m spending more time with people who aren’t starting families of their own and part of me feels a bit of guilt.
Part of me feels like a bad friend for abandoning these friends as they reach that certain milestone in their lives. Mostly because, since I am not in their same position, I often find myself rolling my eyes, or becoming annoyed when it becomes an obstacle or a block for the things I want to do. For example, having to schedule things around a child’s nap-time or not being able to do certain activities because the child is not of age or it’s just simply too dangerous for a child to do. Thankfully, I don’t let this guilt consume me because I’m well aware that I shouldn’t let others hold me back from doing and experiencing things and activities because they’re on a different life path than I am. I really rely on this quote sometime to keep a positive perspective on friendship sometimes:
And there are some days when I think to myself, “Geez, Eileen. You’re 28. When are you going to get yo life?!” LOL. But everything will come in due time.
Please share if you’ve had any similar experiences in your life, I’d love to read about it!
And as always, thanks for reading ❤